The Hourglass

The sand slips against the curvature of the glass. One grain at a time so you turn your head, distracted by the beautiful light coming in through the window. When you turn back the bottom is filled to the brim – the particles now forming a solid base in the glass.

Your jaw drops. You look in the mirror and your hair has grown, your face has changed. You speak and your voice is the same, but now maybe the soundwaves don’t fluctuate as much as they did. Maybe they’re grounded in something that only time can establish.

It isn’t easy for me to write about coming home. Partially because it is emotionally challenging to deal with being torn-- but also because it’s hard to explain not wanting to leave. 

Words cannot express how much I miss everyone in the states. Like I’ve said in previous entries, I think about you all of the time. But at the same time I’ve never felt so completely content and completely myself in my entire life. And it is hard to leave that.

On a lighter note, instead of going in to all of the emotions I’ve been going through lately, I’ve decided to prepare some of you for the changes to expect in me when I return:

Number One:

The use of 'just now' and 'now now' as in “I’ll be there just now” or “I’m coming now now.” 

At first, I hated that in South Africa “now” doesn’t mean this second. It actually means more like “sometime” or “maybe never if I don’t feel like it.” So if upon return I say “yea, I’m coming to your house just now” it could mean in a little bit, or it could mean I’m not coming at all. However, if I say “now now” the likelihood of me coming goes up, but it’s still not definite.

Number Two:

Dropping sentence inflection when asking a question.  

I honestly don’t know when this phenomenon occurred. But never the less, I sound like I have an accent when I ask a question because my voice no longer goes up.

Number Three:

Use of the expression “We’ll make a plan.” 

To me, this is a brilliant expression and one that I am not ready to let go of. It can be used when asked “How are you going to get to the party?” Response: “Don’t worry, I’ll make a plan.” Now, granted, sometimes these plans fail, but at least there is some security that action is being taken.

Number Four:

Uncontrollable crying for no apparent reason.

This may or may not occur, so be prepared.

Number Five:

Inability to describe the experience when asked: How was South Africa? 

I might return the question to you: and how was the last six months of your life? Hard to sum up isn’t it? But I will go in to as much or as little detail as you would like, just let me know :)

Number Six:

The use of a word pronounced 'shop' but actually spelled 'sharp' accompanied by a thumbs up. And also, use of the word scafe. 

Shop, means fine. So typical conversation: “I’m coming just now” “Sharp.” Scafe could be translated to I want some of that as in “Scafe juice, or scafe beer etc.” In return, you would give me a sip.

Number Seven

Rushing phone conversations to be less than one minute. 

For the last five months I’ve been buying air time in 12 Rand increments. I don’t have a cell phone contract, so in order to save air time, I’ve become an expert at saying everything that needs to be said under one minute. Be prepared for me to rush you out of habit, even though it will no longer be necessity.

Number Eight:

Being incredibly excited about any of the following: Taco Bell, good pizza, bagels, cheap Thai food or Mexican food, real coffee that is still inexpensive, soft pretzels, and huge margaritas. 

Chances are if you ask me if I want to go get any of the former, I will be there now now. :)

I will be home December 14, and the sand keeps slipping. Love you all.